Saturn in the 2nd House

I currently have Saturn conjunct my sun and squaring my natal Saturn, which is making me feel my problems with the natal placement of this planet in the 2nd house of my chart very intensely.
So I wanted to combine some paragraphs from my journal concerning this placement and turn it into a blogpost, because maybe, this will help or inspire someone else with the same problems or at least make them understand themselves some more and feel less alone with these issues.

Finances

The second house is our innate wealth - both material and non-material. It is both financial and personal resources. Our sense of worthiness, richness.
With Saturn in this house, one will feel like they don't have anything to offer, they will lack self-worth and simultaneously be greedy. That is because our sense of being rich personally (to be talented, confident) is congruent with our sense of being rich financially.
After all, money is just paper, just numbers - it has no inherent wealth other than the symbolic one we attach to it. Same with self-worth.
Realize worthiness is not an inherent quality someone can or cannot have - we simply have to rise up to the saturnian authority of claiming it. Worthiness is more so a decision than a trait.
That is why, no matter how much money we have or do not have, with a lack of self-worth we won't feel deserving to spend it on ourselves, we fear it might be taken away any minute, because we are not worthy. So we develop greed.
But think about it this way - if your money could be taken away any minute, would it not be better to spend it now, on things you want, like, enjoy? What else is it for?

Integrity

2nd House Saturn people are in a constant fear that they might not be worthy and don't really have anything to offer, they are dependent on others defining their sense of self-worth for them.
This is where they give away their authority to claim it themselves.
The reason people give away authority is that they fear responsibility. Are you ready for the burden of being solely responsible, the one and only judge of what you should be and what you should do to be worthy?
We can be our own harshest critics, because the voice of our inner Saturn is always inside of us. We have to rise up to the responsibility and the ambitious task to live up to our own standards - the ones set by our own inner Saturn, not outside mirrors of it.
Wherever Saturn is placed, we need to find integrity.
Ask yourself - what are my standards for myself - completely independent from others expectations - what do I believe one has to be and do to be a good person - a worthy person - and live up to those standards and those standards only.
You are the judge of your own self-worth.
Reclaim the authority to decide what you deserve, based on your integrity, your responsible and dutiful fulfillment of your own standards.
From now on, the only one responsible for your own self-worth is you.

Eating habits

This placement can also show a delay when it came to feeding in early childhood.
Maybe your parents were busy or overwhelmed and could not give you the physical nurturing you needed immediately, you may have spent an extended period of time in hospital after birth, rather than going home with your parents.
You may tend to eat more than you need to make sure you won't get hungry later. Bascially, you are always scared there isn't enough, that you will be cut off from basic nurturing.
That is where the greed comes in again. First of all, you always feel a lack of financial resources and second of all, you feel you're not worth having what you want, because, in childhood, you didn't get everything you needed immediately.

Blushing

Saturn is the planet of socialisation - out of fear of being rejected love and belonging, we adjust to what is expected from us, we limit and restrict ourselves.
One sign of socialisation - which you might used to think of as a personal issue - is blushing.
Blushing is not a personal issue, it's a social issue.
It is a saturn problem especially related to the 2nd house.
Blushing shows: "I know I should be ashamed, and I am, this is me showing my shame externally, and I will silence and hide myself even more from now on."
I have a huge blushing problem, I blush easily, often and for the stupidest things.
If you have a blushing problem, people romanticising it is one of the most annoying things in the world.
You don't get adorably rosy cheeks, you just turn completely red and hot and you feel little and alone and like what you did and who you are is wrong.
This shows how our sense of worthiness is controlled by outside authority when Saturn falls into the second house.

Kanye West

Kanye has Saturn in the 2nd house and for a period of time I saw him as a role model who has achieved ultimate confidence. However, watching some of his interviews, he does seem like a rather insecure person. And I don't think somebody who is asure of themselves would call themselves a god.
Insecurities are loud and confidence is silent.
If you are absolutely certain of your inherent sense of self-worth, you don't have to constnatly prove it to everyone. You just silently trust in it.
So I don't believe he has really mastered this placement of his yet. But I hope he will.
And I hope that you and me will too.

♡ Marina ♡